golifeboat!

In visiting Emily and Anthony in Portland, I’ve been overwhelmed with a sweet feeling of positivity for this place. Such friendly dispositions and interactions have made the perfect step away from what was one of my best experiences as a facilitator. And, oh! Cherry blossoms! Dogwoods!

Next week I’ll be site leading for a four-day program, so I’ll definitely need to carry over contentedness in me to get me through the week. This video is so endearing I think it will serve well as a backdrop for this effort. Because let’s face it, though it’s not always beautiful, it’s always program. What do I really have to complain about?

looking out,

g

This song is a good portrait of the way I’ve felt about this Strafford program since Thursday. During what was meant to be a Wildlife block, my group, the Rainbow Robot Whales, had a severe falling out. This was even more significant because of how functional the group had come to be up to this point three days in (they literally balanced the whale watch in 3-4 seconds just earlier that day). I spent the 20 minutes this went on for about 20 feet away, just sort of waiting for them to sort it out. It was harder than I imagined, which showed the group to be actually entering a meaningful storming stage.

Through this falling out, there were such beautiful emotions displayed for everyone to see. Frustration, disappointment, hurt, loss of trust, regret, and emotional investment were the faces they showed each other, all started by an argument they were allowed to have about how many animal signs they would set for themselves as a goal to find.

My perception of the fight, which could have seemed petty, was that it was of deeper importance. They all really wanted to do good things for the group. One willful group wanted to choose 15, because they wanted to set a goal that the group could achieve and feel good about. Another portion of the kids wanted 19, so the group could do more to challenge itself. The other third was invested in 17, because they just wanted the group to respect each other and compromise.

With all of these noble intentions interwoven into their only slightly variant choices, the only thing any of them heard were the numbers. And that was upsettingto them, because of the relationship they had built up to this point. Kyshawn confessed to the group, “I don’t think I can trust anyone any more.” He had to remove himself because the arguing was so stressful for him, and wouldn’t come back even though several people tried to bring him. At least half of them cried during this episode.

In the following and inevitable conversation i had to facilitate about the experience, these brilliant kids spoke on the courage it takes to show real emotions to each other; the trust an act like that requires; why these true, real fights are so important; and what it is to keep those emotions to yourself for the sake of everyone else. “It’s just a lie,” Abby went on to explain. Cassie, as she passed the quality award on to Cailin at the next lunch, referred to this event as “an important argument.”

As I attempted to tell them how proud I was of the reflections they shared, I had to pause to try to hold back my own overwhelming emotions. I failed, stepped away, and literally wept there in front of them because I was so moved by their courage, honesty and wisdom— all of which was beyond anything I think I’ve ever conveyed in my life. Walking away, Nicole, our accompanying teacher, expressed the same as she wiped tears from her eyes.

Afterward, we moved to the A-field to do Salute to the Sun, which was marvelously successful. It was fun, and they were excited to take great care of each other. Everyone was lifted, and uplifted. We went on to balance the 4-way whale watch, and then skip off to snack. i think i need to keep doing this, probably forever.

with love,

g